The heated atmosphere of the election lately has been, well, electric. I was one of the few people I know to actually watch both the presidential and VP debates. Although, I’m also one of the fewer who actually learned something new while watching. One of my goals this week was to plug in a bit more to the world around me. Josh says the Drudge Report contains every opportunity I need to be in-the-know. I click around, skim some articles, read the news articles in People, flip on the Today Show for the news bits, and try to grab the radio segments with any information that might make me a more suitable voting citizen. Still, I only glean little pieces of the larger world because I’m so consumed with keeping my tiny world in tact.
What what a precious tiny little world it is.
At almost 3 months, Oliver continues to amaze us all. His distinct cries alert me of specific needs, and I’m so grateful that I immediately know whether the little man thinks he’s starving or he needs to cash out. Besides the never ending sleeping and eating cycles, he is having more and more pleasant awake time, bobbing his head in the exersaucer or laying down on his back, batting his hands and observing the shapes around him. He has fit perfectly into our family, as most subsequent children do, and I’ve been blessed with normalcy and emotional steadiness, giving me the ability to soak in and appreciate life with my baby. Nursing is going beautifully, and as I squeeze his now chubby thighs and rubber band wrists, I love knowing that God is using me and our intense, delicate bond as mother & baby to sustain his very life (an experience I did not achieve with my first).
And so many things these days cause me to marvel at not only the existence but also the purpose of the lives of my children. It wouldn’t surprise me if some people think that Josh and I can be exhausting to be around. (In fact, I admit I find us exhausting myself!). I say that merely because it’s hard to be around us for too long these days without a “meaning of life” conversation. I guess our 30′s are the time to not only ask questions, but to try to figure it all out. There’s very little that we take lightly these days, especially now that Jackson is growing up and we’re in the process of laying the foundation of his worldview. As previously posted, his education is causing us to dig deeply, finding our core values about education and asking questions like “What is learning in the first place? What does Jack need to know?” And Oliver’s chiropractic treatments have brought up questions about medicine, energy, and the conflicting approaches to healing in the medical field. (HOW does a vile in Oliver’s sock correct his milk sensitivity?? And how did God design mother and baby to be so energetically connected??) We’re not people who can blow these big questions off, or surrender them to a greater unknown with a shrug. These questions plague us. We believe it’s our job as parents to have the best answers we can to offer our children, and to build our life around the core values we find under the heap of issues we face. This is hard work. The hardest of our lives so far. And everyday, there are large and small conversations about how some huge decision at our fingertips or issue we’re clouded by: where to send Jack to school, what to check on the upcoming ballot (please let this election be OVER soon), or what chiropractor to use. Yes, we ARE exhausting. And exhausted.
But the ins-and-outs of my days are much more simple. Even exciting. Although Halloween this year wasn’t the most glamorous, I did stuff Ollie in a dragon costume and prop him next to a knight in shining armor!
Jack and I are still sneaking pieces of candy into our diet a few times a day, as if I need any more sweetness than my two little loves! Even though the foundation-laying, question-asking, answer-seeking work keeps us busy and motivated, I’ve been so HAPPY lately–beaming even!–with the simpler moments like these:
Praising God for these boys and finding so much joy each day as we, together, try to figure out our blessed little life.